Witchbender Crush 2018

New Music Monday: Witchbender ‘Crush’

by • May 7, 2018

What are your skills?”

How can we quantify your worth?”

How fast can we assimilate you to our machine?”

-From the track, An Actress”

Witchbender pose all these questions and more on their LP 2, Crush.

Late last year, we got a nibble of what new music the five guys (I want fries, now) from Orlando had in store for us. Tour Demo 2018 wedged two fleshed out pieces of punk between our teeth with “Brand” and “Creature of Nervous Habit.” Now, I am one mouthful shy from choking on their complete album, and I fucking love it.

Witchbender Crush 2018
Crush is loud and thoughtful. “Creature of Nervous Habit” feels like howling out the passenger side window as loud as possible while your friend drives recklessly, barreling down 426. Witchbender are definitely off the leash. 


“Ice Cream” is a track of sweet relief. It’s an ice pack on the back of your knees on the hottest day of summer when your A/C is broken. The cool beads of water drip down your calves and gather at the foot of your bed while you attempt to decipher if the life size vanilla swirl cone dancing in the corner of the room is a mirage or the delectable cold treat you deserve.

I want ice cream. Not just any kind of ice cream. I want the ice cream that shuts the door, closes the curtains, pulls me into bed.”

“Ice Cream” is a wonderful fever dream. Don’t even think about pinching me.

The whole album is riddled with addicting guitar and chantable mantras which are sure to make the walls shake and drip with grime during live shows.

You can catch them on tour this Spring all along the East Coast, and thank the crusty gods they’re making an appearance in Orlando. Josiah Wess, the nice guy behind Bad Balloon booking, has put together a wild night of punk of every variety with Career from Tampa, Debt Neglector, and Orl’s gem SugarPlum, who are a whole dream themselves.

Witchbender Tour 2018


Witchbender Tour 2018
Crush will be released May 16th on Bandcamp. Stream & smash that when the time comes.

New Music Monday: Witchbender ‘Crush’ by Sarah Schumaker.

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