There are some, a small lucky few, who engage in music in a much deeper level. There are some, a small lucky few who make music.

Some musicians become famous. I daydreamed for years about being in a famous band, sometimes I still do. But I am not famous, nor was I even close. I was too self-conscious and doubtful to reach the part where I’d have to look at ways to get my music licensed, choosing between ASCAP vs BMI. Most of us who dreamed about being in a band didn’t achieve those goals, but some were close. And some just love the music – love the music apart from the dream of fame.

I would like to introduce you to six friends.

They are Paul, Ray, Athan, Mike, Chris E. and Chris U.

These men have been making music together in some form or another since the late 1970’s. Some went to middle and high school together, a few met in local theatre, a few lived down the street, and I met all but one of them in college. They have been in an incalculable number of bands. Some received a good deal of notoriety.

But this isn’t about their bands. This is about their lives, their friendship and their talent. These guys love the music, and the music brings them together. Through it all, the music is the singular binding force among the six. Through girlfriends, split-ups, weddings, funerals, graduations, the birth of their children, earthquakes, epiphanies, their successes, their most painful failures. They pick each other up, they bust each other’s chops. And they don’t shake hands – they always hug when they see each other.

I want you to meet them…

Paul wanted to be a famous guitar player – he has a wife, beautiful children, and a very respectable job. His guitar playing is like smooth warm butter, tasteful and spot on. He is kind and has always been a true friend. He is the godfather of my kids;

Ray moved to San Francisco – he is always in two or three bands, from originals to quirky cover bands. He produces other bands and eats, sleeps, and dreams in music. I can’t think of an instrument he can’t play. He is also one hell of a private school teacher;

Athan has been in a few very influential goth/industrial bands – Fahrenheit 451, Executive Slacks, and a few others. He produces and books bands for shows. He also buys and sells vintage vinyl, and quite impressively has written the liner notes to quite a few CD reissues of jazz musicians;

Mike is as talented a songwriter as you could every want to know. His band, The Selves (with Paul on lead guitar) was as close as a band could get to making it, but just missed. I don’t know how Mike isn’t eternally angry at how close they were. Mike has a wonderfully sharp sense of humor, and if there was ever someone who should have been a professional song writer it is him. I had the amazing honor to have played in his band for one show – Paul had broken a finger the day before a gig and couldn’t play. I knew all of their music and rehearsed the afternoon of the show. Playing in Mike’s band, even just once, is in the top ten most amazing events of my life. Mike lives in Massachusetts and has been to some amazing places with his wife and daughters;

Chris E. played sax, but he doesn’t anymore. Chris E. is smart and articulate. He has acted in a number of local theatre shows and in some great independent films. Chris E. is one of the most gentle humans you could meet. He has a great snickerish/laugh. He can do voices, impressions, quote dramatic soliloquies, and make great soap chess pieces. His job sends him to the far corners of the country, but he is always willing to take the time to sit and shoot-the-shit;

Chris U. was in my band, as well as in bands with Paul. He loves the Beatles and plays a steady jangly guitar. He has great stories of when he and his band toured in a van and traveled the country. He and his wife own a house and he started a band with some other local dads playing covers for school events that their children attended. He has also revived their high school band and plays with some of the same friends as he did almost 25 years ago;

Me? My hands hurt if I play too hard. I was the first to opt out for a wife and family. I had tried to get back in the band thing, but couldn’t hack it.

But why tell you this? Because the love of the music, and more importantly, these friendships have bound us seven for the past few decades and hopefully many more to come.

And it well may be that there is no discernible difference between their/our friendship and the music we love. The music is the vocabulary of our lives.

d.Boon said that his band could be our lives.

Well, that, and all of the music we love.

And how right he was. How right he was.

Some thoughts on the power of music and friendship: by Douglass Dresher