I’m drunk on the cheapest red wine I could find. $6.99 for 1.5 Liters (that’s two bottles worth). I can finally feel the palpable sting building in the opening at the base of my thumb. The benzl alcohol in the lotion I used became salient with the conclusion of my orgasm. It burned so well. I cleaned up and poured another glass of wine.
I missed Jimmy Eat World on Friday because I fucked up and drank all day. I woke up at 10pm. Called House Of Blues. “They play until 11:30” said the box office clerk. I sped there. 10:35pm. The box office had closed. No scalpers remained. I could faintly hear them performing. I clenched my other half in my arms as we stood outside. Dancing. Singing. I knew the setlist. One song until the encore. All I cared about was 23.
I sang. I listened. I pretended. Sometimes in life, you need to pretend. Why not? Life isn’t always rainbows and fucking sunsets but sometimes you can pretend it is. That’s what we did. We were sufficiently defeated. If I could only share the truth about the last 45 days. I will. One day. There was an accident. Two, really. Everything will be OK though.
I saw pictures Jared Leto posted to instagram after his 30 Seconds to Mars show in Jacksonville this past weekend. What a guy. I would enjoy a conversation with him. Especially if we were high. I saw his latest movie. Have you heard of it? It stars Matthew McConaughey. It’s called Dallas Buyers Club. It has the greatest fucking soundtrack ever. It’s about a guy (McConaughey) who contracts HIV and his “fuck you” attitude towards the FDA, the doctors, and the mainstream pharmaceutical companies when he’s told how long he has left to live. Jared Leto plays a transgender. They’ve both won a bunch of awards for their performances so far. It was the best fucking movie I’ve seen in a really long time. Best all year by far. Here’s a preview:
Oh yeah, Jimmy Eat World. Although 23 is not my absolute favorite, it’s my favorite song they routinely include in their setlist. My absolute favorite song is “Over” from their “Stay On My Side Tonight EP.” It starts out “I’m not exactly sure what I should say. Everything I do is a mistake. Your attention is attention (It doesn’t matter if it’s fake or real).” Then it goes into the chorus or whatever and etches back into a verse. The verse is what really makes my hairs rise “I really need to hear how great I am. Cause I can’t even get up out of bed.” Fuck. Watch the Jimmy Eat World 23 video below and look up “Over”.
The only time I actually saw Jimmy Eat World live was when they played right after Against Me (who’s coming to The Beacham in January), and right before the fucking FOO FIGHTERS when they played at the old Amway Arena several years ago. That was such a perfect fucking night. I went with my best friend. I bought tickets the second they went on sale. I had an awesome view. I jumped around like an asshole. I was screaming every word. I was young then. Sober.
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